Pleasure's A Click Away

17th Apr 2011

It’s been four years

Its graduation season, everybody’s marching looking at the smile upon their faces, emotions oveflowing, triumph on this side and on the other people transitioning to another part of their life. http://the12thday.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/icons-oble_sablay2.jpg

I am actually happy for them, they deserve it they’ve strive to get that degree.

But at the end of the day I can’t help but be mad at myself cause sadly I am not part of that graduating batch, not that i envy them.. but rather mad myself. I’ve done so many stupid things. Perhaps i’m really that stupid that’s why I can’t pass trigonometry or accounting. I mean i study hard and all that I review weeks before the exam do research and ask for help when i don’t understand but for some reason it just doesn’t cut out for me. I actually don’t know what else to do. Maybe I’m not really cut out for a degree in business. It’s just crazy cause I get higher grades in other management courses. And that alone tears me up apart. I am so confused

The thought of being left behind scares me. It’s actually my biggest fear.. I’m not the type who’d want be in front of a race. I’m more of the type of just being able to run with the ones at the middle.

I’m just in a whole different level of low self esteem and regret.

I’ve got one more year to go to get that degree, I just hope and pray that I finish it.

23rd Jan 2011

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3rd Dec 2010

To the most colorful woman in my college life.

Colour Pen

These pens, they remind me so much of you. When i study, or just sit down and think of thins to draw. You relieve me, you make the colors of my life more vibrant and bold. They way you talk, provocative, blunt so much life just like ever colored pen inside this mug. I think i should thank you, I most definitely should. On the 18th, just wait for it. You’ll see.

22nd Jul 2010

Twice the String had pull.

its been twice since me and the girl who makes my stomach hurl and float and bloated with butterflies.. have crossed paths in the library.. I’m no fan of destiny.. I just think the strings of the universe have been vibrating causing this incidents to happen. Clearly String Theory must be in play here.. but never the less.. what matter is how i feel when she’s in proximity.. i feel weak.. floating and defenseless.